<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div>Better Thank Expected<div><br></div><div><div>Things were not as bad as I had thought. <br></div><div>The scrape in the fender of the rented car<br></div><div>could be hidden with a little white paint<br></div><div>before I returned it to the agency.<br><br></div><div>This CD of New Age music, which I disliked at first,<br></div><div>with its synthetic wind of pulsing jellyfish,<br></div><div>does a remarkable job of slowing down my heart.<br><br></div><div>Merely to have survived to this point<br></div><div>is already the most unlikely triumph;<br></div><div>to still be breathing and trying to improve.<br><br></div><div>Things are definitely better than expected.<br></div><div>I'm not on trial for anything.<br></div><div>I have given up on the idea of great sucess.<br></div><div>The oncologist says the x-ray shows no " abnormalities."<br><br><br>We are always trying to come to a decision,<br></div><div>always in a place where we are making up our minds<br></div><div>whether the soup is good, the flowers pretty,<br></div><div>whether we are fortunate, or poor.<br><br></div><div>All my life I have been<br></div><div> loved by women,<br></div><div> held up by water,<br></div><div> ignored by war.<br></div><div>I have outlasted the voluntary numbness<br></div><div>I required to remain alive.<br><br></div><div>Why shouldn't I be able,<br></div><div>why shouldn't I be able <i>now<br></i></div><div>to walk down the street,<br><br></div><div>under the overhanging trees,<br></div><div>and raise my arms and say<br></div><div>that the rain shaking down from the leaves<br><br></div><div>is not an inconvenience but a joy?<br><br><br></div><div> - Tony Hoagland<br> </div></div></div></body></html>