<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;" class=""><div dir="auto" style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;" class=""><div class="">Denial is a Cliff We Are Driven Over</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">I want to believe Don West</div><div class="">when he writes: <i class="">none of mine</i></div><div class=""><i class=""><br class=""></i></div><div class=""><i class="">ever made their living by driving slaves.</i></div><div class="">But in my grandfather’s mouth that utterance</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">would’ve taken on another meaning:</div><div class="">In the memory my mother shares,</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">he is flitting across Louisville</div><div class="">in his taxi, passing back-and-forth</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">like a cardinal, red-faced, proud-breasted,</div><div class="">delivering Black folks their dry cleaning—</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">had to, she tells me, as part of his route—</div><div class="">but once he started his second shift and turned</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">on the cab light, he wouldn’t accept</div><div class="">Black fare. I recall him reciting</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">the early presidents’</div><div class="">racist pseudoscience—American</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">at its liver—to rationalize his hatred</div><div class="">of my father, his denial</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">of my Blackness. That denial a peril</div><div class="">I survived, a cliff he could have driven me over</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">at any moment of my childhood. Maybe,</div><div class="">I want to think, because they were poor men</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">who labored, farmed tobacco and dug for oil,</div><div class="">my grandfather’s people resisted</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">slavery, felt a kinship with my father’s people.</div><div class="">Or that because my grandfather</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">was one of eleven mouths to feed</div><div class="">on their homestead—reduced to dirt</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">across the Great Depression—</div><div class="">he had a white identity to be proud of, a legacy</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">that didn’t join our names</div><div class="">in a bill of sale, but in struggle.</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">I search his surname and it travels</div><div class="">back to Germany, appears</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">on the deed to the house he inherited,</div><div class="">retired and died in, poor-white resentment</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">inflaming his stomach and liver.</div><div class="">But when I search the name I share with my father,</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">my only inheritance disappears</div><div class="">into the 19th century, sixth generation:</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">my ancestor bred</div><div class="">to produce 248 offspring</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">for his owner, from whence comes</div><div class="">our family name. Mr. West, here</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">we are different. Here, is where</div><div class="">my grandfather found his love for me discordant</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">as the voice of the dead whispering</div><div class="">history. Here is where we are connected,</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class="">not by class, but blood & slavery.</div><div class=""><br class=""></div><div class=""><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>- Joy Priest</div><div class=""><br class=""></div></div></body></html>