<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;" class=""><div dir="auto" style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;" class=""><div class="c-feature-hd" style="margin: 0px 0px 9px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">They Killed Cows. I Killed Them</div><div class="c-feature-hd" style="margin: 0px 0px 9px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br class=""></div><div class="c-feature-bd" style="margin: 0px 0px 20px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3;"><div class="isActive o-poem" data-view="PoemView" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; position: relative;"><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">In the future we might all be vegetarian,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">and this life will seem barbaric the way<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">a corset was or eugenics. We might look<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">at this man being secretly recorded, bragging,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class=""><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;" class="">They killed cows, I killed them,</span> and wonder,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">where was his mother? She might have spoken<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">of his childhood, how it was poor but decent,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">how like that blue god’s mother she too gaped<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">into her son’s wide gob and saw the universe<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">once. Or she might have told the story of how<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">he was led astray by a band of men in uniforms.<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">Not brownshirts but pleated brownshorts<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">in which they practiced ideological calisthenics.<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">How she’s been standing at the crater’s edge<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">saying, <span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;" class="">Here, kitty kitty kitty,</span> ever since.<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class=""><br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">Because this man, her son in the undershirt,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">dear cadre, cow vigilante, he’s no gladiolus.<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">He sighs. Even his mustache is pusillanimous.<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">Maybe he was a Romeo in school. Maybe<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">he wields this stick to reclaim what he misses<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">most about his body, or maybe it’s always been<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">his dream to squeeze the messy limbs of this country<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">into a svelte operatic shriek. The camera gives us<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">a glimpse of his chin dumpling. He will go to jail<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">a thousand times without passing go, without<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">stopping to plant a tree or collect clean underwear.<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">He admits it was wrong to allow his boys to record<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">the killing. <span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;" class="">Jai Shri Ram</span>. Silly to leave evidence<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">behind, even though they always go free,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">even though the young lads enjoy it so.<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class=""><br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">And Qasim? The man they killed,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">the green meadow of his life come to this,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">didn’t his mother also once confuse the dirt<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">in his mouth for a galaxy? Didn’t he believe<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">a dying man had the right to ask for water?<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">In the future when people complain about how Gandhi<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">should have made a comeback, when comparisons<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">are drawn between YouTube and the Upanishads,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">will they notice the bystanders in the frame,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">their shabby shoes shuffling like lapwings<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">around the bloody censored blur of Qasim’s body?<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">Will they speak of the difficulty of watching him<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">thrash around for an invisible rope to steady<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">him home, the difficulty of us watching them<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">watching him being killed?<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class=""><br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">Or is that an illusion too? The way a magician<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">might swirl his cape to reveal his assistant<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">is really a robot. <span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;" class="">No damage done here, folks!</span><br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">The way we enter the rooms of our past<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">like gunshots to say, <span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;" class="">Surprise, I’m still here.</span><br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">No point carrying blossoms in your pocket<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">instead of a meat sandwich. Because even if<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">you did not walk the earth exultantly, even if<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">you avoided disposable plates and mourned<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">every glacier and strung a lattice of pearls<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">to the giant monument of love, there might still<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">come a day when you are hauling refrigerators<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">on a truck, or taking the children to a fair,<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">and when death arrives you must let him<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">strap you to a telephone pole, you must look<br class=""></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class="">into his ten-headed face, and say, <span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;" class="">Flay, brother, flay.</span></div><div style="font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class=""><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;" class=""><br class=""></span></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1em; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; text-indent: -1em;" class=""><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" class=""><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>- Tishani Doshi</span></div><div class=""><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; font-size: 21px;" class=""><br class=""></span></div></div></div></div></body></html>