Choosing Who To Be - Lion Goodman

[Larry Robinson]

Choosing Who To Be



You, who wake up each morning remembering who you are,

must think it strange that I, upon awakening

have no idea who I am, or what I’m doing in this room, 

in this bed, beneath these covers.

 

It takes hours to put together a functioning identity,

like a woman trying on dozens of outfits to find just the right combination

for a night on the town.


With no basis to work from,

no map or structure to follow,

I try on dozens of masks,

deciding who to be today.

 

The mayor of a small town?  

A policeman in riot gear?

An oncologist in a white coat giving her patient bad news?

A reporter following a story about a missing child?

A corporate executive deciding to clear a rainforest for a palm oil plantation?

 

When any identity will do, how will I choose?

And who is doing the choosing?

 

I could be a star, shining in the blackness of space,

a diatom at the bottom of the ocean,

a comet on its path around the sun,

or the color of sunlight.

 

One day I became a granite boulder in the middle of a playground,

enjoying playful children scrambling over me, laughing

and jumping off my peak into the ocean of sand surrounding me.

 

On another, I became the scent of night-blooming jasmine,

wafting on soft air, entering nostrils of animals,

and thrilling delicate moths attuned to my molecular structure.

 

You, who have only one fixed center, may feel envious of my freedom.

And I envy you for your stability and fortitude.

To be the same, day after day, takes courage and stamina.

 

In my incarnations, newly chosen with each sunrise, 

I have lived a million lives, each one unique, precious as a gemstone.

And yet, I have no companions on this journey.

 

Be grateful for who you are, and what you have chosen.


	- Lion Goodman