Loss, grief and action!

Mon Oct 29 13:54:17 PDT 2018

Dear friends,
	If you are feeling the same sense of horror, outrage and grief that I am as each day brings one more assault on our collective hearts, I invite you to join me at a grief and healing ritual conducted annually by my friends Barry and Maya Spector. Grieving together allows us to acknowledge and honor our losses, reaffirm our shared humanity and move forward with ever more resolve and commitment to heal this world. Below is more information. I hope to see you there.
Larry

Day of the Dead Ritual on Saturday, November 3rd.

Place: Hillside Community Church – 1422 Navellier Street, El Cerrito.

 (The sign is rather small, but the church driveway is shortly after the curve in the road.)

Time: Please try to arrive by 9:00 and no later than 9:30. The time between 9:00 and 9:30 will be spent in registration, creating the altar, and silent contemplation. We will then begin the ritual, and it would be somewhat disruptive to enter after that point. It is difficult to say when it will end (spirit will determine that), but we anticipate 5 P.M. or so, followed by a potluck dinner.  Please do try to stay for the dinner as it really helps ground us after the ritual.

Food: Have a good breakfast!  We are expecting a deeply meaningful and emotional day, and everyone’s presence, attention and participation is vitally important. We will take a silent lunch break.

Please bring:
•               Pillow, blanket, or low chair (there are plenty of regular chairs if needed)
•               Journal / writing materials
•               Pictures of ancestors
•               A light bag lunch for yourself and a contribution to the potluck diner
•               A poem if you want to share one
•               Loose, comfortable clothing. Dress in layers, as it may be warm or cold.
•               Beautiful items for the altar (pictures, flowers, especially marigolds, sacred objects in color schemes of red/orange/yellow) -- as many as possible! Let’s feed the ancestors with beauty!
•               If you’d like to help with setting up the altars, we will be at the church between 2:00 and 5:00 PM on Friday and would love your help.

Money: Admission at the door is $50, but you can still pay the advance fee by going to https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3613889 <https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3613889> until 9:00 PM on Friday.

If a friend is hesitating to join us, let him or her know that no one will be refused admission if they can’t afford to pay, but they should contact us.  Work exchange is available.

Please think about: Losses and grief you have experienced this year; the weight of unfinished business you carry regarding family, health, career, life transitions; and the world situation: global warming, hurricanes, fires, refugees, ongoing warfare, terrorism, white supremacists, mass shootings. In other words, what you need to let go of in order to move on.

Some have asked about cultural appropriation. If you like, you can read our thoughts on this subject here: https://madnessatthegates.wordpress.com/2016/06/30/barrys-blog-168-cultural-appropriation-part-one/ <https://madnessatthegates.wordpress.com/2016/06/30/barrys-blog-168-cultural-appropriation-part-one/>

The Five Gates of Grief 

Here are some thoughts from our friend Francis Weller:

Grief enters our hearts in many ways. If we are to heal, we should become familiar with these multiple access points. Each of these doorways leads to the communal hall of grief.

The First Gate: Everything We Love, We Will Lose – Grief asks us to face life’s most difficult but essential teaching: everything is a gift but nothing lasts. To accept this fact is to live on life’s terms and not try to deny the simple truth of loss, what the Buddhists call impermanence. When we acknowledge grief, we acknowledge that everything we love, we will lose. No exceptions. Grief says that I dared to love, that someone has touched our lives.

The Second Gate: The Places That Have Not Known Love – These are profoundly tender places precisely because they have lived outside of kindness, compassion, warmth, or welcome. These are the places within us that have been wrapped in shame and banished to the farthest shores of our lives. We often hate these parts of ourselves, hold them in contempt and refuse to allow them the light of day and we thereby deny these parts of ourselves the healing salve of community. What we perceive as defective about ourselves, we also experience as loss. Whenever any portion of who we are is denied welcome and sent into exile, we are creating a condition of loss. But we cannot grieve for something that we feel is outside the circle of worth. We are chronically sensing the presence of sorrow but we are unable to truly grieve because we feel in our body that this piece of who we are is unworthy of grief. Bringing these parts of soul back to the table is a central element of our work. Grieving, by its very nature, confirms worth. I am worth crying over: My losses matter.

The Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World – Whether we consciously recognize it or not, the daily diminishment of species, habitats and cultures is noted in our psyches. Much of the grief we carry is not personal, but shared, communal. It is not possible to walk down the street and not feel the collective sorrows of homelessness or the sorrows of economic insanity. It takes everything we have to deny the sorrows of the world. Walking through the doors of grief brings you into the room of the great grief of the world.

The Fourth Gate: What We Expected and Did Not Receive – This entry into sorrow calls forward the things that we may never even realize we have lost. We are programmed to anticipate being welcomed in the world, to experience what our ancestors knew as their birthright – the container of the village. We are born expecting a rich and sensuous relationship with the earth and communal rituals that keep us in connection with the sacred. Their absence in our lives haunts us, even if we can’t give them a name, and we feel their loss as an ache, a vague sadness.

The Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief – This is old grief we carry in our bodies from sorrows experienced by our ancestors. It also carries the weight of our abuses of the indigenous cultures on this land. This grief is so immense it is hard to reconcile. The long shadow of this violence persists in our psyches. Whether we know it or not, we also grieve the loss of the ancestors. We no longer look to them as a source of connection with the invisible powers in the world. In a very real way we have lost our connection to the land, language, imagination, rituals, songs, and stories of our ancestors and as such, we feel homeless.

Ultimately, these five gates all lead to the same chamber, the communal hall of sorrows. It makes no difference which door we open, which threshold we cross. Every one of us has grief at each of these gates. When we feel hesitant or uncertain of our worthiness to touch our sorrow, knowing that these gates are there offers us a way to connect with our losses, wounds, and disappointments

Rideshares: If you’re coming from Sonoma County, San Francisco or the Peninsula and want to share a ride, let me know.

Directions:http://maps.google.com/maps?client=safari&oe=UTF-8&ie=UTF8&q=1422+navellier+street+el+cerrito&fb=1&split=1&gl=us&ei=ryMmSvblLYKItAP01tDLBg&hl=en&cd=1&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=23.875,57.630033&ll=37.922224,-122.304034&spn=0.006295,0.006295&t=h&source=embed <http://maps.google.com/maps?client=safari&oe=UTF-8&ie=UTF8&q=1422+navellier+street+el+cerrito&fb=1&split=1&gl=us&ei=ryMmSvblLYKItAP01tDLBg&hl=en&cd=1&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=23.875,57.630033&ll=37.922224,-122.304034&spn=0.006295,0.006295&t=h&source=embed><http://maps.google.com/maps?client=safari&oe=UTF-8&ie=UTF8&q=1422+navellier+street+el+cerrito&fb=1&split=1&gl=us&ei=ryMmSvblLYKItAP01tDLBg&hl=en&cd=1&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=23.875,57.630033&ll=37.922224> <http://maps.google.com/maps?client=safari&oe=UTF-8&ie=UTF8&q=1422+navellier+street+el+cerrito&fb=1&split=1&gl=us&ei=ryMmSvblLYKItAP01tDLBg&hl=en&cd=1&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=23.875,57.630033&ll=37.922224> 

From Sonoma and Marin Counties: take the San Rafael/Richmond Bridge exit (Interstate 580 East). Exit at Bayview Ave., then left on Bayview. Left on S. 55th St. Right on Potrero Ave. Cross San Pablo Avenue and stay on Potrero. Turn right at Navellier St. 1422 Navellier is on your left with plenty of parking.    

From San Francisco, Berkeley and points south: 
Go north from Berkeley/Oakland on I-80. Exit at Potrero Ave. Go uphill on Potrero. Turn right at Navellier St. 1422 Navellier is on your left with plenty of parking.    

From Davis: Take 80 West. Left on Cutting Blvd., right on San Pablo Ave., left on Potrero Ave., right on Navallier St. 1422 Navellier is on your left with plenty of parking.    

If you need to reach us on Friday or Saturday, call 650-327-5493.

Here’s to a memorable day in community!  Barry, Maya, Bruce and Marcia
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.sonic.net/pipermail/poetrylovers/attachments/20181029/a31c88d9/attachment.html>