Forsaken Laws - Sally Churgel

[Larry Robinson]

Forsaken Laws

I like the laws of the land
When they are clear and simple
Red light    stop
Green light    go
Yet even a law as simple as that
Is broken every day
 
Like our legal system
We set our internal beliefs
Into stone (our own laws)
Immutable till they are inconvenient
 
I never eat sugar
Ah, but today is your birthday 
I’ll have just one bite
 
When I was a little girl
Upset at the injustice of being
A tormented younger sister
I would run to my mother for comfort
And was sent to my room
Till I was “done crying”
 
I made a rule
My sadness was bad
So I went inside myself 
Whenever I hurt
 
This rule became a law
Don’t feel, don’t feel
But I felt the world
Intensely
 
Caterpillars dissolving into 
Themselves to become butterflies
Made my skin crawl
Don’t feel!
 
Don’t you dare cry
I broke that law over and over
My spirit began to break with it
One tear at a time
 
Dissolving my defenses until 
A crack began to form
I covered that gap with 
Duct tape and chicken wire
 
Still, I couldn’t contain the tears 
Which over the years rusted the wires
New law!
 
 
Don’t let that crack get bigger
Don’t be too loud or too much
And whatever you do 
Don’t let your heart break 
 
Decades passed
The tape tattered
The wire frayed
The law held!
 
And then one day
There were redwood trees 
And sun-dappled light
There was laughter
A bushy red squirrel tail
 
Purple irises pushed 
Up through the wintered soil
The aliveness of it all
Burst through my being  
A great wave of love
 
Snap!
Just like that the wires split 
The tape dissolved
My law spilled out onto the 
Forest floor
 
My cracked heart that became a chasm
Bared to the Spring warmth
Felt it
Felt that wave
 
I made a new law that day
Love life with a capital L
Love humanity
Love the earth
Love my self
Love Big
Love Wild
L-O-V-E
 
And yes, even that law I have 
Broken again and again
But it’s a law I like
It’s clear and simple
 
	- Sally Churgel