on this stream - fran carbonaro

[Larry Robinson]

on this stream

pressed to the edge of our circumference
the fraying threads of once-assumed normality 
barely holding, loose ends, circumvented lines 
of thought, lost then found, then lost again
you won't remember where I was today
or who I went with or why I went, you
now wandering beyond the parameters that 
held you, captive perhaps, now free
finally, free of hope, of hoping that this 
might go away, dissolve like a bad dream 
in the morning's light, free to find a new 
language, your words dancing in strange configurations 
of delight and defiance, your words alternately
stinging and soothing this tired heart, your
stunned queen bee wondering how soon
you will lose your way back home,
only one of many where you are loved.

still, i celebrate how your hands know how to find me, 
your lips meet mine, we move and breathe together 
beyond hope, beyond hoping, reaching for that embrace 
which lies beyond any knowing, tasting the beloved
in our tears, leaning into a deeper trust
than either of us can imagine, "i will still be here,
when I am not" your words a lock i cannot pry open
as you declare "today is going to be a good day." 
i tread the current madly, only to be swept out 
like a leaf on a river of grief, on this stream of entropy.

somehow my body remembers dead-man's float
relinquishing all that might have been, my face lifts 
from the stream and i greet the you before me now.

				
	- fran carbonaro

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