The Anti-Vacation Manifesto - Aniela Gregorek
Lawrence Robinson
Lrobpoet at sonic.net
Tue Jun 23 05:32:22 PDT 2026
The Anti-Vacation Manifesto
Stop!
Cease all wanderlust immediately!
I hereby ban suitcases with wheels,
if you want to escape,
drag your burdens
like your ancestors did!
No more chasing dreams across time zones.
Dream where you are, citizen.
Imagine better wallpaper.
Close the airports!
Dry dock the cruise ships.
Confiscate all bucket lists,
they are now mop lists.
You shall clean your own life first!
Look at you!
Sweaty necks, foreign snacks,
posing in front of monuments
you Googled five minutes before arrival.
That statue does not know you.
You flee chipped paint and
mild discontent?
Fix the paint. Sit with the discontent.
Name it Carl, or Suzie. Befriend it.
Why borrow someone else’s sunset
when yours is burning behind the garage?
You want peace?
There’s peace in your laundry room.
It hums like a monk if you listen.
Effective immediately:
mandatory backyard appreciation hours.
Gaze at your weeds.
Pet your pets.
Admire your neighbor’s fence
like it's the Great Wall
of Suburbia.
Yes, some citizens already comply.
They water their basil with devotion.
They feel the breeze and
don’t Instagram it.
They say things like,
“Ah, this moment!”
and they mean it.
Be like them.
Not restless. Not scrolling.
Just strangely calm.
Present, and… still here.
You may now return to doing nothing.
Splendidly.
- Aniela Gregorek
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